Often times, women are put off by their husbands approach to sex, and this is the bane of the problem. In fact, one marriage expert likens the man to a 'light bulb' and the woman to an 'electric iron'. So long as there's power in the house, the light bulb will automatically come on the moment you press the switch. In this way (likening it to the man), the man is easily aroused sexually the moment his eyes are turned on by his wife’s appealing appearance, therefore, he wants to have intercourse just to satisfy that immediate feeling. In other words, he doesn't need much encouragement to want to have sex; he is easily aroused by the sensory waves that his eyes send to his brain by just looking at his wife.
But the woman is different!
When you turn on an electric iron, it doesn't get hot immediately - it takes a while to become hot, and the heat level usually increases with time until it is fully hot. That's why most women will feel used and abused if the love making is always instantaneous and quick.
Interestingly, drawing another parallel from the electric iron and light bulb analogy, after ejaculation, the man switches off and goes into sleep mode just like the light bulb would do when the switch is turned off. But the woman will still require some cuddling and romance to fully cool down like the iron. Usually, the electric iron tends to remain hot for a considerable time even after it’s been unplugged from the power source.
One of the most dominant need of a woman is the need to feel loved and cared for, and this comes to play especially when having sex. Whilst the man gets easily satisfied, the woman on the other hand needs to be taken on a smooth ride through the road of romance before arriving at intercourse. This is a very important note for men because by failing to meet the sexual needs of your wife, you will make her to refuse your sexual advances over time (because all you ever want is a quickie), which could create enormous strain on your marriage.
Whilst it is a given that men are the aggressor, the seeker and the pursuer when it comes to sex, they should however learn to place the needs of their wife above and beyond theirs. By doing this, you are not only allowing your wife to be satisfied sexually but you will also be guaranteeing your own satisfaction as well. Because guess what! If she's fulfilled sexually, you too will be fulfilled sexually! A win-win approach!!!
Now, there are 4 things that men must seek to do if they want to satisfy their wives sexually:
1. Playfulness or foreplay: Most men will try and hurry this stage because they may feel inpatient but research shows that this is the most enjoyable aspect of love making for a woman. A good foreplay creates the atmosphere for a great sexual experience. You don't have to wait until you get home before you begin this process, you can start by sending her text messages about how much you miss her and how much you can't wait to see her etc.
2. Nice words: Nothing puts off a woman like vulgar and profane words. Learn to give her complements, she will really open up to it. It doesn't matter how many times you've said it before, keep telling her how lovely her lips are, how beautiful her eyes are etc. and you will find that the door will always be open to you. Tell her about how you felt after the last time you had sex and what you liked best about it.
3. Show concern: Your wife loves to tell you all about her day and you must really love to listen to her and be prepared to talk about yours as well. Ask her what she got up to, where she went and the people she met. As she downloads on you, stay engaged by showing that you are truly interested in what she's talking about, and she will be very happy to give you anything you wish for. If she is feeling tired, give her a massage, help around the house and with the children (for those with children). Remember if she is complaining about her job she doesn’t mean she wants to quit her job so don’t immediately start hassling her about getting a new job! Whilst all of these is going on, a gentle touch here and there would be to your advantage!
4. Know how to find the clitoris: Contrary to the view of some people, the clitoris (the most sensitive part of the woman's sexual anatomy) is not in the vagina but outside it. For your wife to reach orgasm, you will have to learn how to stimulate this part of her during love making – preferably before intercourse. Once you actually start to head for it – SEX, more romance would be required to make your wife more relaxed and stimulate her to produce her natural lubricate that will help reduce pain and increase pleasure during sex. Verbally express your feelings as well (some men just go deaf, dumb and blind during this process!), you could hum to affirm that she is doing something right thereby encouraging her to continue. Also ask how she is felling during the process and in the end remember to cool her down by gently robbing around her body. It works wonders!
Sex is an important glue that helps to bind the husband and wife together in marriage, and every effort must be made by both parties (especially the man) to ensure that they are fully satisfied, and eager for the next time. Couples must keep in mind that failing to maintain a healthy and fulfilling sex life in marriage can give room for the temptation to commit adultery and other lewd sin against your spouse.
Happy coupling!!!
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