DISCOVER HOW TO BE YOUR CHILDREN'S ROLE MODEL.

BEING A GOOD EXAMPLE TO YOUR KID.

1. When entering the house, greet your children with hugs and kisses. This should help develop their sense of love, courtesy & intimacy.

2. Be good to your neighbours and never backbite. Never speak ill of others, Your children listen, absorb and emulate.

3. When calling your parents, encourage your children to speak to them. When visiting your parents take your children with you. The more they see you take care of your parents the more they will learn to take care of you.

4. When driving them say to school, don't always play albums or cds (even if my cds!). Rather, tell them the stories yourself. This will have a greater impact - trust me!

5. Read to them a short story and  even a scripture a day – it doesn't take much time, but very impactful in creating strong bonds and wonderful memories.

6. Comb your hair, clean your teeth and wear presentable cloths even if sitting at home and not going out for the day. They need to learn that being clean and tidy has nothing to do with going out!

7. Try not to blame or comment on every word or action they say or do. Learn to overlook and let go sometimes. This certainly builds their self-confidence.

8. Ask your children's permission before entering their rooms. Don't just knock and enter, but then wait for a verbal permission. They will learn to do the same when wanting to enter your room.

9. Apologize to your children if you made a mistake. Apologizing teaches them to be civil, humble and polite.

10. Don't be sarcastic or make fun of their views or feelings, even if you "didn't mean it" and was "only joking". It really hurts.

11. Show respect to your children's privacy. Its important for their sense of value and self-esteem.

12. Don't expect that they will listen or understand the first time. Don't take it personally. But be patient and consistent.

13. Pray with them. Show them how to pray. Lead by example. Let them see you as their role model.

15. Avoid quarreling with your spouse in their presence.

16. Once in a while, task your children including the undergraduates, to write  a narrative or short essay for your assessment. By so doing, you'll know the good writers among your children & how effective they've grown in the use of English.

Share with other parents.

WHAT MANY FATHERS HAVE NOT TOLD THEIR DAUGHTERS

nh*I just read this story on how a daughter was raised and decided to share.*



My Dad always *sounds* it in my ears "Simi, you must be *tough.* Being *girlish* and being *ladylike* is not an excuse for *weakness".* This he still says to I and my sisters till this very day.

All the children were *raised* to do the *"masculine"* as well as the *"feminine"* tasks.

My sisters and I started *winding* a 15KVA generator as soon as we got one. I *learnt* how to wash a *car* (internal and external) before the *age of 16*.
I started *learning driving* immediately after *secondary* school. My Dad told me that before he allows me drive out *independently,* that I must learn to change *car tyres.*
I remember I was forming *ajebutter* and my Dad said to me "If you are *driving* on a lonely *highway* and you need to change your *tyre*, what would you do? You will have to get down and change it.... that's the *common sense* thing to do. It's a *survival skill* for drivers. Car tyres are not *changed* with a penis, so you don't need to worry about not having one".

*My brother?*
He started *washing* the dishes as soon as he could reach the sink and *handle* the dishes. He started cooking *simple meals* before the *age of 10.* He started *washing* his socks and under wears before the *age of 7.*
He started *handling his laundry* before the *age of 11*, when he had to go to *boarding* school.
In my house, the rule was (still is) that *anyone who eats* must be able to get *involved in the kitchen*, when required.

My father tells me I can be *president,* not *first lady.* There is nothing wrong with being a first lady, but there's also nothing wrong with being the *husband* of the president. Thus, if you tell your *son* that he can be president, you should also tell your *daughter* that she can be president.

The *hidden but significant psychology* behind this is that telling your daughter that she can be president pushes her to be *great,* while telling her that she can be a *first lady* pushes her to aspire to marry a *great man,* and probably *reduces* the needed inspiration to aspire to exercise her maximum potentials.
We need to stop *teaching our girls* to believe that the best they can be is to *exist under the success of a man,* their husbands.

It is *disfavor* to *humanity* to raise your son with the *impression* that he is better than other females just because he owns a penis. Raise your daughters to understand that they are not *inferior to males.*

Teach your sons to be as *domesticated* as your daughters, and push your daughters to *attain financing independence* as much as you push your sons.
This way, we will raise a *less entitled*:and *more responsible* generation, *equipped* with all vital survival skills, and with less *handicaps.*

*Charity* begins at *home*, not in the *offices* or *work places.*
AND
*#Equality_Begins_At_Home*

Go tell it to the *world*, over the hills and everywhere

WHAT THE PASTOR DID TO THEIR MARRIAGE.

✝ A Must  Read till the End. 🙏👍

THE PASTOR WHO TAUGHT THE MARRIED ABOUT PRAYER

Joe and his wife don't sit next to each other during Church services.

Even when going to Church services, they go in different vehicles; and when they travel in the same car, it is usually a very quiet and uncomfortable ride.

Joe sat at his usual spot in the Church service; the fourth line on the far left row. His wife sat on the center row.

The Pastor took to the podium.

"Husbands, stop wasting your time praying" the Pastor began.

The congregants got alarmed. No one expects to hear a pastor saying prayer is a waste of time.

"I am not here to discourage you to pray. I am here to encourage you to pray right.

Husbands, stop wasting your time praying if you are not treating your wife well.

The Word says that when you treat your wife badly, it hinders your prayers. Men, you claim to be prayerful.

You come to church driving your expensive cars, giving your offertory and tithes, active in Church, some of you are Church leaders; but how are you treating your wife?

You may look good to us Church members, but it is your wife and children that know who you truly are" said the Pastor.

Joe turned to face his wife. She looked at him. Joe could see her eyes.

Her left eye swollen from the blow he gave her last week when she confronted him about his alcoholism, pornography use and mischievous behavior.

People couldn't tell she had a black eye because of the make up she had on, so well done.

The Pastor continued, "People have perfected the art of cover up. Here in Church, so many are hurting but you wouldn't know.

People come here wearing their nice clothes, shiny smiles, they are active in ministry but hurting a lot in their marriage.

We have become numb and plastic, brushing things under the carpet. But today we shall heal; we shall address those wounds we hide"

The Pastor cleared his throat and continued, "Many of those who are hurting their spouse are using the church to hide.

They think that because they give offertory and tithe, because they make public prayers, because they stand in front to give testimonies or because they hold a Church leadership position that they are right with God. God is interested in what you do in your marriage and in your family.

Your first ministry is your home. Stop trying to blackmail God with your service in Church yet you are mean and hurtful towards your spouse"

Many of the members of the congregation got restless and unsettled.

The Pastor continued, "Many of those who are being hurt by their spouse hide their pain and want to project an image that all is well to validate that they are blessed and in control.

Some of you are active in Church to run away from the pain in your marriage"

The congregation was silent. Some straightening their ties, others fidgeting with their Bibles, adjusting their sitting position.

This pastor was preaching truth and it was uncomfortable.

The Pastor continued, "The husbands are not the only ones guilty. Wives, don't you know the Word says when your husband found you he found good and you bring favour?

Then why are you the source of your husband's headache and stress? Have you been so toxic that you have turned your prayerful husband into a prayerless one?

Do you make him regret marrying you because you bring more complications than he had before marrying you?

How you treat your husband can be a stumbling block in his walk with God or an environment that encourages growth.

Many of you married your husband primarily because of his relationship with God, why are you now destroying his relationship with God instead of celebrating and nurturing it?

Why are you being a burden to your husband emotionally, spiritually, socially, sexually and financially instead of being one who brings favour?"

Joe's wife looked at Joe. Joe looked at her, she looked away.

The Pastor paused to drink his glass of water.

The Pastor continued, "When I am thirsty, I drink a glass of water.

When your spouse gets thirsty, will you allow God to use you to bless your spouse?

You've been told many sermons that focus on you as an individual, that God will make you prosper as an individual.

I am here to tell you your blessings are tied to people, you are blessed to be a blessing to others. Our God is not an individualistic God.

Your blessing is tied to your marriage, your family. It's not about you, you, you; it is about Jesus and Jesus is about love.

What good is it to prosper and be successful when you have no love? It is all vanity.

God cares about your family, how you treat your spouse and children"

Silence.

"Yes, we pray. But what kind of prayers does your spouse pray because of you?

When your spouse prays, is it largely to cry to God because of the hurt you bring?

Is it to plead with God to change you from the monster you've become?

Is it to plead for grace to deal with how difficult you are? Or is to give thanks for you?"

Silence.

"Are you really prayerful? Do you really value prayer?

Then why is it that many of you find it easy to come to us priests for us to pray with you as an individual, you find it is easy to pray in public in a Church service or Bible study, but find it so hard to pray with your spouse?

Isn't that telling of what is going on in your marriage? Don't you know that the more you pray with your spouse the stronger your marriage will be?

But how can you find it easy to pray with a spouse you hurt or who hurts you?"

The Pastor paused and looked at the congregation. Eyes staring at him.

"I challenge you. I challenge you to pray with your spouse and to treat your spouse well.

Husbands, you are the head of the home. I challenge you to stand up and go to where your wife is and pray with her as a start of a more prayerful chapter in your marriage.

Don't do it because I asked you to but because you want to. Your choice"

One by one, the husbands present stood up.

Joe stood up too.

Joe walked to where his wife was.

The face of Joe's wife overwhelmed with love, she looked on as her husband walked to her.

She almost stood up but he gave hand gestures at her to stay seated.

Joe reached where she sat. Their eyes met.

Joe knelt down. He stared at her then kissed her swollen left eye.

"I am sorry" he said.

"Can I pray with you?" He asked.

She got up from her seat and knelt down too.

There, on the floor as the Church service was still ongoing, husbands prayed with their wives.

Joe prayed kneeling with his wife.

They prayed for forgiveness, for thanksgiving, for love, for renewal, for peace, for direction; for their marriage.

Marriages were healed at that service .💏✝🛐☮

If You have been blessed by this message please share. You might just be saving a marriage.✝🙏

WELCOME TO NEW MONTH

WHAT YOU WERE NOT TOLD BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED

*#💍MARRIAGE is HARD work!*

*I used to interpret the saying _"Marriage is not for small boys"_ to mean small boys in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years!*

*_I asked,_ 'So what is the secret of your over 47 years in marriage?!*

*Beaming, she retorted; _"My son, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that!"_*

*"You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home. If you make the man unhappy, you make the house ungovernable!"*

*_"So, I married without high expectations from my husband but simply to make him happy always!"_*

*"Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his dresses he would take to work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily endeavours!"*

*_I asked my old woman mentor,_ 'So then what does the man do in return?!*

*She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; _"You see, this is the mistakes you young ones make in marriage. YOU DO SOMETHING TO YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE AND EXPECT SAME REWARD FROM HIM OR HER, THIS IS WRONG!"_*

*"When it becomes your attitude to always please your husband or wife, the other person responds back naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it does not rattle!"*

*_She continued,_ *My son, never carry how rich or poor your family is into marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman!"*

*_"Love only compels would be couples into marriage but it does not sustain marriage. Rather, understanding, patience, communication and most importantly, forgiveness sustain every marriage. High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in marriages!"_*

*"Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, GOD fearing person etc. You can not get all your expectations in one person. With time and depending on your relationship, you may get some. So minimise your expectations in marriage!"*

*_To cut the long story short, as too much cook spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes couple should resist at all cost in marriage:_*

*"1). Never say you have made your wife or husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. The Sovereign GOD only use you as an Agent for transformation, give the Glory to the Almighty GOD!*

*_2). Let the man be Head financially, emotionally and physically and lead or exerts headship spiritually and the woman be diligent in the use of the tongue and very prayerful!_*

*3). Children are not the ultimate in marriage; they are given to enhance your marriage. When our Awesome GOD delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life!*

*_There has never been any automatic barrenness in a person. Abraham got Ishmael at age 86 but at age 100 and 90, he and Sarah eventually got their Isaac. Isaac had a barren family for 20 years but eventually got his twins; Jacob and Esau!_*

*4). Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day's stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and not _"Angels"_ in that marriage!*

*_5). Resort to the Omnipotent GOD often and less to men to solve your marital disputes!_*

*6). Let the women _"make up"_ their characters much more than they make up their body!*

*_Indeed, marriage is not for_ small boys _because_ small boys _struggle to forgive, demand everything speedingly, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends etc!_*

*Make every effort to let that marriage work and the Omniscient GOD shall help us sustain our union in marriage amen!"*

33 MIRACLES A HUSBAND EXPECTS FROM HIS WIFE

A GOOD WOMAN, MAKES A GOOD WIFE AND A GOOD WIFE BECOMES A GOOD MOTHER.
A GOOD MOTHER GIVES BIRTH TO A GOOD CHILD. IF YOU WANT TO BE ONE EMULATE THESE STEPS BELLOW:

1). Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect. Your husband need Respect to feel as the Head of his Home that he is.

2). Don't expose your husband's weaknesses to your family and friends. It will bounce back at you. You are each other's keeper.

3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don't have a happy home.

4). Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.

5). Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.Just explain to him your concerns or observations.

6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.

7). Never assign your housemaid or anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.

8). Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.

9). Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.

10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband his right of having you.You must give it to him how he wants it. It's very important to Men, if you keep denying him, it is a matter of time,as you expose him to temptations  before another woman takes over that duty. No man can withstand on starvation for too long (even the anointed
ones)

11). Never compare your husband to your one time Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.

12). Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, only if he assigns u to,let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.

13). Never shout or challenge your husband,either in front of children or Visitors.  Wise Women don't do that.

14). Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.

15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.

16). Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Good dressing &Good looking helps your husband have Good feeling. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.

17). Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.

18). Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?

19). Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listening , never be too busy for him. Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home.

20). If your idea worked better than his, never compare yourself to him. Its always a team work.

21). Don't be too judgmental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.

22). A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath & good perfume.
23). Does your husband like a kind of cooked food? Try to change your cooking. No man jokes with food.

24). Never be too demanding to your husband, enjoy every moment, &resources as it comes.

25). Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty.

26). Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.

27). Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.

28) A confrontational wife, can never keep a good husband and her home, she will be grooming irresponsible daughters without manners.

29) A woman who cannot manage her children, home and  husband is a complete failure in life no matter her achievements.

30) A wise woman honors her husband, and respect him, in turn the husband will cherish her and love her dearly - it will be natural. Husband is a beautiful gift from God, no woman can stay without a husband. No good man on earth can tolerate a confrontational and argumentative wife except they have lost their value and become less of a real man.

31). Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.

32). You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason.

33). A prayerful wife is very wise and intelligent and she  is a  better equipped wife, pray always for your husband and family. Conquer all your challenges and problems with prayers, only Christ can solve our problems talk to Him together.

STRICTLY FOR MEN.

FOR OUR MEN
     
19 ways to fix your wife - when she is falling apart!

Your wife can be dying in silence while still performing her wifely duties.

 you will need to know her to know when she needs to be fixed.

When a woman is always moody, cries a lot, yells on Children, can't easily sleep or sleeps a lot, she may be battling with something you are not careful enough to see.

A real man will not allow his wife to fall apart without fixing her and making her better and happy.
If you discover your wife is falling apart, watch out and fix the following:

CHECK IF YOU ARE THE PROBLEM
You might be her problem, but out of her respect and love for you, she may not tell you. Ask, let her talk sincerely

2. BE AWARE OF HER RESPONSIBILITIES
Get to know how her work load is killing her. Regardless of whether she stays at home or goes to work, do you know what she does all day? If you don’t, ask her. Her to-do list is probably overflowing with tasks that far outweighs her time and energy.

3. BE APPRECIATIVE
Be mindful of her needs and appreciative of her sacrifices. The work a woman does at home can be too common that nobody will appreciate her for them, this can be killing her. Appreciate your wife

4. GET INVOLVED BEFORE SHE BURNS OUT
Don’t just be appreciative, but get involved. The best time to begin helping your wife is now. Don’t wait until she breaks down to offer a helping hand.

5. GET MACHINE
Get all the machine needed for her work at home (the ones you can afford). Dish washer, gas cooker, refrigerator, oven, laundering Machine etc

6. BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT
Be totally involved at home, stop delegating parenting and family life. Don’t be a “visiting Professor”, be an active partner in this business of your life. It takes two to parent. It takes two to make a marriage work. It takes two to run a household. Be fully involved in every aspect of your family life.

7. HOLD HER
Hold her like a lover and a friend. Place your hands on her shoulder, her laps, hold her hands, just hold her and let her feel you.

8. JUST LISTEN
Men are known to be good talker when they do,but very bad listeners. At times what your wife needs is for you to just listen. Do not interrupt, let her unburden, let her talk. Sometimes the best way for a woman to reset is by getting all of her thoughts out. Let your wife talk through her feelings and problems. Show empathy. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Be fully engaged in the conversation.

9. BE A PARTNER NOT A TEACHER
Most men do fall into the “Teaching trap” when they are supposed to be a partner, showing love and consideration. There may be a time you may need to explain how better you know but don't be too official, Be friendly. Do not blame, just be there for her. Just listen. That’s all you need to do. And if she wants you to offer solutions, she’ll ask for them

10. GIVE HER HOPE
No matter what happens, don’t ever raise up your hands in surrender. Giving up, crying or weeping will hurt your wife more. Encourage her. Let her know what you love about her. Help her see the good in any situation. Avoid being critical or negative. When she has hit the rock bottom, be the man who lifts her up, and brings light and hope back into her life.

11. BE SENSITIVE
Get to know her mood, get to know her needs, get to know what is needed to be done at home and do them without prompting
Learn the art of looking around the house and finding things that need to get done. Are there dishes in the sink? What is broken that needs to be fixed? Don’t wait to be asked. Just do it!

12. PRAY FOR HER
Take your time off to pray for her, hand her over to her maker who knows the deepest need of her heart . Let God fix her, you can’t do it
Let God know what you appreciate about her. Ask for his help. Ask him to tell you how you can be a better spouse to her. Ask him to comfort her and help her see herself as He sees her.

13. PRAY WITH HER
Don’t just pray for your wife, find time to pray with her, hug her as you pray together, hold her hands, just talk to your maker together.

14. ASK HER HOW YOU CAN BE OF HELP
Your wife knows what you can do to help her reset, so just ask her. She will open up to you, it may not be what you think, so don’t speculate, ask, She’ll appreciate it more than you will ever know.

15. HELP AROUND THE HOUSE
Give a helping hand around the house. Give her a kitchen holiday for some days, do all the cooking or hire somebody to do it for both of you. Let her just sit, eat and rest, this may be all she needs,

16. TAKE HER OUT
Take her out, eat out, go to wherever she will love to go, not where you want, just follow her.

17. ALLOW HER TO CRY,IF SHE MUST
“Stop crying, are you a baby?, will you be crying about this little thing?”
This is what most rude husband will do when their wives cry, what an insensitive word. If she feels like crying, hold her to yourself and let her do the crying while you pat her on the back. It’s a great way to fix the problem.

18. LET HER GO ON HOLIDAY
Allow her to go on holiday all alone to herself, this can fix the problem as she returns with greater energy.

19. CELEBRATE HER
Let your wife be celebrated. Celebrate her in secret and in public. Talk about her beauty, motherhood, wifehood, support, thoughtfulness. This will make her day.

Let the men Manifest